To Vaccinate, or not to Vaccinate?

I imagine that parent's have been dealing with similar issues for decades. We all want to make the choice that is right for our children, but it is just so dang hard. I have been on both sides of the argument for the H1N1 vaccination. It has been a back and forth struggle for months, and just when I think I have made the right decision, I will read something or talk to someone that forces me to question my decision.
The heat and passion with which this topic is discusses is staggering. I have had many an awkward conversation with friends and strangers alike where I feel embarrassed by my decision. It seems that vaccinations are yet another deciding factor in the ongoing debate on the worthiness of our parenting skills.
For too many reasons to list here, today is the day Mack is getting vaccinated. I am secretly looking forward to not having to go back and forth anymore. It will be done, and hopefully he will be protected.

Nightime is a Nightmare.

There isn't a book, blog, magazine article, or parent that I know of that I haven't picked apart trying to learn the art of the sleeping baby. Mack hates to sleep and he has since day one. I look in the mirror in the middle of the night and see an old, worn out version of me.
My husband and I have been battling the dreaded "Cry it Out," method. He wants to try it, I refuse. Six months of sleep deprivation has caused stress on our marriage, but I still can't imagine standing by while our baby screams bloody murder. At this very moment, I can hear Mack fighting his nap through our baby monitor.
Next course of action: I have to trust the Baby Whisperer. I don't know who this person is, or if he/she has ever had a non-sleeping baby; but this is my last hope. Starting to night, we will try the "Pick up, Put down," method of teaching baby to soothe himself to sleep.
Wish me luck, I crave sleep so bad that I daydream about it.

High Price for Happiness.

It is frustrating to me that the adoption industry has a "big business" mentality. Take just a few minutes to scan the 100's of adoption situations that are listed online and you will see the astronomical fees associated with adoption. Fees have escalated in just the past year. One would be hard pressed to find an affordable agency to work with.
We would love to adopt again, but it is an intimadating thought. Now, we have a baby to consider. Is it really fair to him to spend so much money on another adoption? What about saving money for college?
All of these thoughts went out the window after watching a show on amazing families the other night. The show reminded me that adoption is a calling, and I do not need to worry about when or how our next adoption is going to work. Much like our first miracle, I have begun to pray for a second.