After 9 1/2 months of praying that Macklin would learn how to sleep through the night on his own, I took matters in to my own hands. I have been against the idea of "cry it out" to the point where I truly believed that parents who use this method corrupt their children.
However, I reached the point where I would do anything for a full nights sleep, even if it meant permanent consequences to Macklin's psyche. Two weeks in, Macklin now sleeps from 7-4 a.m., fusses for a bit, and then goes back to sleep until six. This has seriously changed my life. I would have told you a month ago that Macklin was not capable of sleeping this long under ANY circumstances.
So, I am going to attempt to view parenting styles with a more open mind. Perhaps the "don't knock it till you try it" system will teach me more gems such as this.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
To Vaccinate, or not to Vaccinate?
I imagine that parent's have been dealing with similar issues for decades. We all want to make the choice that is right for our children, but it is just so dang hard. I have been on both sides of the argument for the H1N1 vaccination. It has been a back and forth struggle for months, and just when I think I have made the right decision, I will read something or talk to someone that forces me to question my decision.
The heat and passion with which this topic is discusses is staggering. I have had many an awkward conversation with friends and strangers alike where I feel embarrassed by my decision. It seems that vaccinations are yet another deciding factor in the ongoing debate on the worthiness of our parenting skills.
For too many reasons to list here, today is the day Mack is getting vaccinated. I am secretly looking forward to not having to go back and forth anymore. It will be done, and hopefully he will be protected.
The heat and passion with which this topic is discusses is staggering. I have had many an awkward conversation with friends and strangers alike where I feel embarrassed by my decision. It seems that vaccinations are yet another deciding factor in the ongoing debate on the worthiness of our parenting skills.
For too many reasons to list here, today is the day Mack is getting vaccinated. I am secretly looking forward to not having to go back and forth anymore. It will be done, and hopefully he will be protected.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Nightime is a Nightmare.
There isn't a book, blog, magazine article, or parent that I know of that I haven't picked apart trying to learn the art of the sleeping baby. Mack hates to sleep and he has since day one. I look in the mirror in the middle of the night and see an old, worn out version of me.
My husband and I have been battling the dreaded "Cry it Out," method. He wants to try it, I refuse. Six months of sleep deprivation has caused stress on our marriage, but I still can't imagine standing by while our baby screams bloody murder. At this very moment, I can hear Mack fighting his nap through our baby monitor.
Next course of action: I have to trust the Baby Whisperer. I don't know who this person is, or if he/she has ever had a non-sleeping baby; but this is my last hope. Starting to night, we will try the "Pick up, Put down," method of teaching baby to soothe himself to sleep.
Wish me luck, I crave sleep so bad that I daydream about it.
My husband and I have been battling the dreaded "Cry it Out," method. He wants to try it, I refuse. Six months of sleep deprivation has caused stress on our marriage, but I still can't imagine standing by while our baby screams bloody murder. At this very moment, I can hear Mack fighting his nap through our baby monitor.
Next course of action: I have to trust the Baby Whisperer. I don't know who this person is, or if he/she has ever had a non-sleeping baby; but this is my last hope. Starting to night, we will try the "Pick up, Put down," method of teaching baby to soothe himself to sleep.
Wish me luck, I crave sleep so bad that I daydream about it.
Monday, October 5, 2009
High Price for Happiness.
It is frustrating to me that the adoption industry has a "big business" mentality. Take just a few minutes to scan the 100's of adoption situations that are listed online and you will see the astronomical fees associated with adoption. Fees have escalated in just the past year. One would be hard pressed to find an affordable agency to work with.
We would love to adopt again, but it is an intimadating thought. Now, we have a baby to consider. Is it really fair to him to spend so much money on another adoption? What about saving money for college?
All of these thoughts went out the window after watching a show on amazing families the other night. The show reminded me that adoption is a calling, and I do not need to worry about when or how our next adoption is going to work. Much like our first miracle, I have begun to pray for a second.
We would love to adopt again, but it is an intimadating thought. Now, we have a baby to consider. Is it really fair to him to spend so much money on another adoption? What about saving money for college?
All of these thoughts went out the window after watching a show on amazing families the other night. The show reminded me that adoption is a calling, and I do not need to worry about when or how our next adoption is going to work. Much like our first miracle, I have begun to pray for a second.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
It's Offical!
As of August 3, Mack is irreversibly ours to love forever. We were fortunate to be able to complete our court hearing over the phone rather than having to travel back to Florida. The judge asked us a series of questions including "Do you love your son as you would a child born unto you?" At that moment, I was covered with the strongest wave of emotion. In just four months, our son has become the most important person in our lives. The amount of love I feel for him is completely overwhelming. Fighting back tears, I squeaked out "Sir, I can only imagine I love him more." and that was it. Case closed, and our adoption is final.
That night, 40 of our closest friends and family members helped us celebrate the momentous occasion. It was a nearly perfect evening. Costco was kind enough to rush a cake order for us, but unfortunately two out of the 6 words on the cake were badly misspelled. The Costco cake maker and I had a ten minute discussion on exactly how to spell "Official" and she still got it wrong. Oh well, it will definitely be remembered!
I will always remember the light, airy feeling of knowing that no one could ever change the fact that he is ours. My son has shown me that is possible to love stronger, deeper, and more completely than I have ever loved before.
Mixed Emotions.
After five months off of work with my son, it is time to go back. While I am cutting down my schedule, I still feel this blanket of guilt for leaving him with a nanny.
In reality, I've learned that parenting is synonymous with guilty feelings. For example, just this week my son began teething. My husband went to the grocery store and came back with everything in the baby aisle that had anything to do with teething. One of his finds was a "homeopathic, natural" teething pill. I was a little nervous about using it, but the results were nothing short of a miracle. Within ten minutes, or little bundle of grumpiness was fast asleep. After two nights of using the miracle pills, I decided to ask around about a few of the ingredients. The main ingredient is Belladonna, I quickly learned that Belladonna is a sedative used before surgery. Crap! I had been drugging my child! Lesson learned: just because it is in the baby aisle, doesn't mean it's safe. Guilty.
More confessions: I feel a sense of peace and relief when my baby takes a nap. In fact, I would label the feelings as extreme jubilation. This makes me feel guilty. I also celebrate when dinner time rolls around and I can have a cold glass of Pinot Gris. This makes me feel guilty. Part of me is looking forward to going back to work... guilty.
Ah, the joys of parenthood.
In reality, I've learned that parenting is synonymous with guilty feelings. For example, just this week my son began teething. My husband went to the grocery store and came back with everything in the baby aisle that had anything to do with teething. One of his finds was a "homeopathic, natural" teething pill. I was a little nervous about using it, but the results were nothing short of a miracle. Within ten minutes, or little bundle of grumpiness was fast asleep. After two nights of using the miracle pills, I decided to ask around about a few of the ingredients. The main ingredient is Belladonna, I quickly learned that Belladonna is a sedative used before surgery. Crap! I had been drugging my child! Lesson learned: just because it is in the baby aisle, doesn't mean it's safe. Guilty.
More confessions: I feel a sense of peace and relief when my baby takes a nap. In fact, I would label the feelings as extreme jubilation. This makes me feel guilty. I also celebrate when dinner time rolls around and I can have a cold glass of Pinot Gris. This makes me feel guilty. Part of me is looking forward to going back to work... guilty.
Ah, the joys of parenthood.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Part VI~Macklin James Christopher
Naming our precious bundle was easy… But I want to start by telling you a story about Melissa, who works for Bundle of Hope. Melissa spent many hours on Saturday encouraging me to pray for a miracle. She’s the one that taught me that God likes to show off… She kept saying “Give him a chance, God loves to show off.” How quickly her words would become the truth!
Macklin was born at home to a woman named Dawn. Dawn didn't know she was pregnant. She thought she was feeling bad on April 9th due to spending to many hours in the sun. Macklin was born at home at 7:50 in the evening. One of Dawn’s daughters brought her the phone, and she called her mom, who then called the ambulance. The ambulance arrived quickly and rushed them both to the hospital.
The ambulance drivers were named James and Christopher, so Dawn named him James Christopher. The crazy thing about that was instantly obvious. I am named after my Dad, James, and Chris's full name is Christopher! Melissa’s explanation for this tiny miracle is that God likes to make his work known… and just in case ANYONE doubted that this adoption was His doing, he put his stamp on it. He helped Dawn name him the most obviously perfect name in the whole world, long before she knew that Chris and I existed.
Dawn spent 48 hours with him in the hospital. Her mom was instrumental in her decision to give him up for adoption. Dawn currently lives with her mom and youngest daughter Jessica. Her older daughter spends most of her time at her dad’s house in another state. Dawn’s mom was adamant that they could not have any more children at the house. I believe it was her mom that called Glenda at Bundle of Hope. This phone call happened ½ an hour before I called Glenda to tell her that Dee had changed her mind.
After Dawn decided on adoption, she said that she wanted a Florida couple. Our story touched her and she said she knew right away that we were the right choice. She selected us without meeting us or even seeing a picture. I believe that was another act of God. With Dee, I knew that nothing I could do, or not do, would change the outcome of her decision. Just as, with Dawn, God put it on her heart that we were the right choice. Chris and I didn’t need to DO anything. It was all a part of the plan.
Macklin was born at home to a woman named Dawn. Dawn didn't know she was pregnant. She thought she was feeling bad on April 9th due to spending to many hours in the sun. Macklin was born at home at 7:50 in the evening. One of Dawn’s daughters brought her the phone, and she called her mom, who then called the ambulance. The ambulance arrived quickly and rushed them both to the hospital.
The ambulance drivers were named James and Christopher, so Dawn named him James Christopher. The crazy thing about that was instantly obvious. I am named after my Dad, James, and Chris's full name is Christopher! Melissa’s explanation for this tiny miracle is that God likes to make his work known… and just in case ANYONE doubted that this adoption was His doing, he put his stamp on it. He helped Dawn name him the most obviously perfect name in the whole world, long before she knew that Chris and I existed.
Dawn spent 48 hours with him in the hospital. Her mom was instrumental in her decision to give him up for adoption. Dawn currently lives with her mom and youngest daughter Jessica. Her older daughter spends most of her time at her dad’s house in another state. Dawn’s mom was adamant that they could not have any more children at the house. I believe it was her mom that called Glenda at Bundle of Hope. This phone call happened ½ an hour before I called Glenda to tell her that Dee had changed her mind.
After Dawn decided on adoption, she said that she wanted a Florida couple. Our story touched her and she said she knew right away that we were the right choice. She selected us without meeting us or even seeing a picture. I believe that was another act of God. With Dee, I knew that nothing I could do, or not do, would change the outcome of her decision. Just as, with Dawn, God put it on her heart that we were the right choice. Chris and I didn’t need to DO anything. It was all a part of the plan.
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